I was thinking about someone from my work.
Not the most likable character. In fact, he's an ass. But a successful and effective manager.
I don't know about you, but I like to have imaginary conversations in my head. Sometimes, it's just cheerful banter, other times I am trying to correct some earlier faux pas/indignation and engaging in a private re-do for self redemptive purposes, and on occasion I find myself lecturing people and doling out pieces of my mind like candy at Halloween. Most of the time, these are people I would never approach in real life out of fear/intimidation/pathetic cowardice. And much of what I 'would' say would very likely result in occupational termination or other harsher consequences like assault...maybe some blood and a broken bone.
In any case, in this particular instance I was enumerating the differences between a manager and leader to this particular individual. Why the former was lesser than the latter and that while he was a successful and efficient manager, he would never transcend and rise to the challenge and calling of a great leader.
But of course, this begs the many questions:
"What is the difference between a manager and a leader"?
"Why is a leader superior to a manager"?
"What's the significance and importance to my personal life"?
For your sake, I will keep it as brief as possible without compromising the profound nuggetry of personal truth and wisdom.
I. Manager vs. LeaderA manager serves a
function. A leader serves a
purpose.
II. Superiority of Leadership
Managers maintain the status quo. They manage and regulate. They serve a function.
A leader requires virtue and character. Someone who knows themselves, and knows and cares for those around them, and ultimately envisions something better and greater than the present. They have the ability to identify areas of improvement (personal and collective), identify needs and fulfill those needs. They are visionaries with heart and soul.
III. So What?As I sit here and contemplate these things, I can see Noah in my peripheral view and it makes me wonder where, when and how I demonstrate these traits in my life. It makes me wonder how I can nurture and encourage Noah to be a leader. It forces me to examine myself closely and truthfully and scrutinize the authenticity of what I speak in relation to how I live.
I believe we are fast becoming a performance based society where success is measured in quantifiable units -- usually, money. In other situations, they are metrics that measure our performance in ways of grades, test scores, goals, quotas, action items, task lists, reviews & evaluations, etc. Inevitably, this creates a psychology that values what you have and what you do. But what about who you are and what you believe?
I realize that while I am a
'satisfactory' mother and fulfilling my function, I have failed to demonstrate qualities of leadership. I try to make sure that the house is clean, the laundry done, the boys are fed, the carpet vacuumed, the refrigerator stocked...but sadly, I haven't spent much time thinking about the truly important things. What kind of mother and wife do I want to be? Is my life exemplifying the kind of values and ethics I want Noah to embrace and imitate? What do I believe? What do I value? And how am I living in such as way that communicates and affirms these convictions? I guess, really what I am asking is: Am I living a purposeful and intentional life and actively contributing to a vision of a better me and a better world?
Mmm...not so much. Because I haven't been thinking. I've just been doing.
But thankfully, it's not too late. Noah is still young and I am confident that whatever damage has been done to his personal politics can easily be undone.
I am realizing more and more than parenthood complicates things exponentially. You can't just claim a belief or position without truly believing and meaning what you say--because you have to believe it enough to subject your child to the consequences.
For example:
I want the best for Noah. I want the very best. This especially includes his education. We have all heard the ugly rumors and stories about the disintegrating public school system. And I think for many families, the immediate reaction is to fall back on private schools. Some of us are fortunate enough to provide this luxury and privilege for our children.
But deep down inside, I believe in the public school system. I believe in what it stands for. I believe that every child has a right to education. I believe that public education is one of the great things about this nation. It may not be the best and most effective, but the ideals and philosophy in which public education is founded on is honorable, good and worth preserving, improving and institutionalizing. And so, I cannot ignore the conflict that arises in my own conscience when I consider the matter. Noah certainly deserves the best but every child deserves the best.
This is just one of the many thoughts that plague me as I face the challenges of parenthood. It's hard to remember to live and model a life of purpose and vision...but even harder to figure out what that purpose and vision is...and ten folds harder executing and acting on those convictions.
As I watch Noah grow with each passing day, it becomes more and more urgent for me to realize some important changes within myself. I must first become what I want my child to be. But more than setting an example...I am shaping the world in which my child will come of age. I have the ability and responsibility of shaping his ethics, his values and his world views and his relationship and responsibility to others and the world around him.
There is some heartache in this realization because I recognize that the kind of person I desire Noah to be will call for selflessness and sacrifice. Because when we stop to consider the great leaders of our time--greatness exacts a very high personal cost.
I find that I rarely question God's almighty and omniscience widsom...except in cases such as these. It's bewildering really.
