The Littlest Giant

Dear Reader,

Complete the following statement:

In my home, I am the ____________________.

Close your eyes. Take a moment. Think about it. You have your whole life ahead of you and the world lying at your feet.

Good.

Now, here's mine: "In my home, I am the tallest midget."

You ask, "Where is this coming from"?

It comes from a place of defeat.

Who's the boss in your life? For me, I am owned by the shortest giant in the world. He's 31 inches high, 20 lbs heavy, 12 months and 4 days wise. His methodologies and tactics vary and differ from moment to moment. At times he charms me with that dimpled dashing smile and yet in the same breath can shoot me the most smoldering evil eye; a look so terrifying that my hands tremble and shake as I hand over the remote control.

I may be bigger than him, but clearly Noah has made the trip to the Garden of Eden and taken from the Tree of Knowledge:

"In life there are Midgets and Giants. Mommy is the tallest midget I've ever met".

We all know that it's better to be the shortest Giant than the tallest Midget on the block.

The evolving social dynamics in our home is fascinating to observe (despite the young yet ever-tightening grip of oppression). I always imagined myself to be a very strict parent, in control, calling all the shots. My kid was going to sleep when I said to sleep, eat what I said to eat, play when I said to play, walk when I said to walk, never ever cry, and delight me by finger painting Fibonacci's Sequence on his plate with my homemade organic spaghetti sauce...in perfect script nonetheless.

Clearly, there is a huge disparity between reality and my very delusional self image.

So, I sleep when Noah is ready to sleep, I eat what I think Noah will want to eat, I play peek-a-boo like it was the first time every time, crawl around after Noah until I burn holes in jeans and clean his poop every time he drops a bomb.

Oh you ask about Dave?

Let me tell you a story, and readers can draw their own conclusion.

This morning when Noah woke up
Big Daddy Dave scooped him up and
gave him a big hug and kiss.
He was running late for work and gently
put him down on the bed.
But Little Bunny No-No would not have any of this.

He let out a little wail.
And Big Daddy Dave picked him back up
before Noah's tush even touched the sheets.
They walked and talked and played a bit,
sang their morning songs and Daddy stayed a bit.

Once again, the clock was ticking and tocking.
Cell phone was ringing, people were calling.
Daddy stretched his arms out to set him down,
But 'Waaah' went little Noah with a very sad frown.

The Midget of the House said not to fret,
"Just put him down, I'll be done in a sec.
Go to work, don't worry about him.
He'll stop crying, I've got it."

So, Big Daddy Dave gave his very last hug,
One more kiss and a little more love.
He reached out to set Baby Noah down.
"Wah" went the little boy.

And Daddy stuck around.

The End!