Wild Kingdom

Getting ready in the morning has turned into a special morning series that resembles those network specials you see featured on Animal Planet and the Discovery Channel.

You know: Shark Week, Animal Kingdom, The African Elephant, Elephant Seals, Champions of the Wild, National Geographics: One Year of Magnificent Large Mammals...you get the idea.

Everything I wear now makes me look like some sort of large beastly creature.

The other day I wore my black and white striped shirt and while in the past I looked very chic in this top (Yes, by my own admission -- I'm entitled to opinions however self congratulatory they may be), in more recent days I've begun to look like a large ailing zebra ready and primed to be taken down by a pack of prowling lions (I can probably reach a larger consensus on this point). I couldn't outrun a maimed sloth if my life depended on it in my current state.

But even funnier, I wore this top when Noah was in his Penguin Suit and I felt like we were shooting an episode of Animal Kingdom...the only thing amiss was the absence of a British voice over. I should ask Dave to give it a try and make a home movie.

You know, just a couple of days ago I was standing there, innocent, minding my own business and out of nowhere David came up to me and gave me a belly bump. A little more gentle, but similar to what you would see sumo wrestlers do in a match. I was a little surprised and puzzled and this must have been reflected on my face because David followed up with commentary. With his belly still abut to mine he leaned down and said: "It's like you have a little ball in your stomach". I wasn't sure if this was an apology, a reminder or just background information.

Adding insult to injury, Noah often will come up to me, lift my shirt and give the belly a good whack. My only consolation is that he does it to David as well.

And, I wonder what kind of commentary Noah is suggesting there...