TV Makeover...

A few days ago I looked in the mirror.

I didn't like what I saw. Having babies and being married has aged me by ten years.

(No offense, David.)

So I told David I wanted him to nominate me for one of those TV makeover shows. You know, TLC's 'Ten Years Younger' or 'How Not to Dress'.

You know what he said?

"Why? Those shows only change your clothes. Those shows are all about how you dress."

Now, YOU tell me how I'm supposed to interpret that?

Did David mean that those shows only address wardrobe and, *clearly*, I'm in dire need of a little bit more help than a A-line skirt and tailored jacket.

While I'm thinking intervention. He seems to be thinking rehab--more along the lines of 'Nip Tuck 90210' or 'Jerry Springer'.

I let it go because as a man, he obviously can't help saying all the wrong things.

So today, when I was at the cosmetics department at Nordstrom's I decided I would get a makeover. I had to throw all my eye makeup out a couple days ago because something I was wearing was irritating my eyes. I went in hopeful and optimistic. These people are professionals. They are trained to make you look glam-fab...RIGHT?

I scanned the department store floor and headed straight for the M.A.C. counter. One look at the girls working there and I knew that they had what I needed. The girls at the M.A.C. counters always look like the line up at a nightclub entrance. But today, as I was walking by the mirrored columns of the department store I realized that I needed heavy artillery. The dark circles under my eye were going to need some serious heavy-weight coverage. Looking at the made up faces of the girls working M.A.C. they had coverage and then some more.

I got assigned a makeup artist...and sat there holding the hand mirror watching as she transformed me from a tired worn out mother into a scary black-and-blue-eyed Frankenstein's bride look alike. I will never ever go back to the M.A.C. counter for a makeover ever ever again. I walked out of there looking half man...like a transvestite made up for Mardi Gras.

It was a sad day.