Upgrade to a better life.
March 13th, 2006 by gracie-yuI was eating a sandwich at Subway today. A woman came in with her three children and I watched the group as they made their way down the sandwich assembly line from "What kind of bread would you like?" all the way down to "Would you like salt and pepper and oil and vinegar on your sandwich?"
It was painful watching the mother give orders for each of her finicky children. "She wants white bread with nothing but ham and cheese…oh, I’m sorry. She wants a little mustard on that…Just a little." The little girl was pouting because Mommy had forgotten about the little bit of mustard. The other orders were a bit more involved so I’ll spare you the details. But watching this woman and her children made marriage and parenthood look so–unappetizing. I imagined being in her shoes, and my goodness, even the momentary imaginary expedition into the private lives of others was painful, even in brevity.
How unhappy and dissatisfying life must be when your day consists of ugly stretch waist capris and three whiny kids who pout because you forgot to mention the mustard. I went through the rest of the woman’s day and imagined going home to a messy house and tired grouchy husband, foodstained upholstery and mismatched bed linen, plastic diningware and vinyl placemats. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
But then again…why would, why should my life resemble rubberband waist lady’s life? Perhaps my children will be interesting and delightful with undiscriminating palates and engage me with cheerful banter about art and philosophy. And it just may be that my husband won’t be tired grouch, but an energetic and electrifying personality with an intellect to match.
I think we often choose (or reject) certain paths in life based on the models of others. And sometimes, we model our lives after others because it is easier to immitate and mimick, like chimpanzees, rather than take the road less traveled. We’ve seen so many disfunctional and unhealthy relationships, they have become the norm. Mediocrity has become the reference point for the majority and the baseline for measuring fulfillment and satisfaction. Very poor departure points in the journey of life, I think.
I’d like to think, I HOPE that if and when I do get married and have children, I won’t be the object of pity and suffering to the outside observer.
Don’t wear stretchy-waist anything.
Teach your children to place their own orders (Obviously I mean this within reason. But if they are old enough to sass you, I’m confident that they’re old enough to ask for a ham-and-cheese-easy-on-the-mustard).
Sit down and define what you want to extract from life. According to YOU, not anyone else because most likely one person’s prescription to a satisfying life is not going to be yours. And DO IT.
I suppose, one could say that my rant is premature and I should refrain from criticism until I myself have given the domesticated life a whirl, however, I think there is no harm in learning from the mistakes of others. Watch, observe, criticize, and judge (privately, of course) so that your life is an upgraded version rather than a sloppy prototype.
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