What is a Freudian Slip?

According to Wikipedia's entry:

"A Freudian slip, or parapraxis, is an error in speech, memory, or physical action that is believed to be caused by the unconscious mind.

Some errors, such as a man accidentally calling his wife by the name of another woman, seem to represent relatively clear cases of Freudian slips. In other cases, the error might appear to be trivial or bizarre, but may show some deeper meaning on analysis".

***

The other day David and I were in the elevator heading out our separate ways into the great big world. As we were making our descent into the lower belly of the garage, we briefly exchanged our schedules and some comments/notes/reminders.

Ding.

We had made the final descent and the door to the elevator opened to release us into the wild. We quickly met lips to say our parting goodbyes and what do you know?!

ZAP!

David and I quickly looked at each other and simultaneously declared:

2 very different things.

She said: 'Electricity'
He said: 'Friction'

How he sweet talked his way out of that one requires a separate post.

And that, Dear Reader, is a Freudian Slip.

Launching my writing career...

Becoming a writer has always been a life long dream of mine. However, the one thing always preventing me from catapulting into my young and budding writing career has been a lack of inspiration. But as the wise Teacher in Ecclesiastes so eloquently instructs: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven".

It seems that David has not only filled the void in my heart, but has also become the muse of my creative sensibilities and given me the inspiration I have been searching for all my life. There is so much goodness in love and marriage. Thanks to David and the joys of marriage, I will be starting my very first book this summer and hoping to find a publisher this fall upon completion. Please keep me in your prayers as I embark on this new and exciting venture in life.

The title of my new book is "The Guide to Proper Husbandry: Exorcising the Bachelor Out of Your Husband".

Below is an excerpt of chapter five, "The Replacement Theory: Learning to Replace and Refill". Much thought and consideration was put into format, style and layout. Given the profile of my target reader, it seemed that the picture book format would be the most conducive to instruction and retention.

~~~

Chapter 5

The Replacement Theory: Learning to Replace and Refill

Pause and take a moment to observe your bathroom. Some typical fixtures you will notice are the shower/bath, toilet, lighting fixtures and the sink. Additionally, there are towel rods, mirrors and a medicine cabinet found in most American bathrooms. You should also find a very small rod-like fixture usually found within arms reach of the toilet. This is called the toilet paper holder. This device is meant to hold a roll of toilet paper and facilitate the dispense of toilet paper.

How to Use:

To use, remove a roll of toilet paper from its wrapper/package. Dislodge the rod from the wall mounts (Normally, there is a spring mechanism holding the rod in place. Simply push either ends towards the center and this will allow you to release the rod). Discard the empty cardboard roll and replace with the new roll.

It is critical to note that the toilet paper should always dispense from the top of the roll and over; not underneath from the bottom. Doing so will allow a quick and clean tear.

See images for reference.

INCORRECT:



CORRECT:

I hope you enjoyed this excerpt. Feedback is greatly appreciated, and I will be sure to keep you updated on my progress.

The Wedding Singer

On Saturday, April 12, Sam and Sarah tied the knot and became the newest couple on the block!

Here's a video of Sam serenading his beautiful new bride.



My favorite part: The bongo drummer and Sam's 'whooo-whooo-whooo'. His performance was such that the crowd was in a complete uproar and his bride was putty in his fingers by the end of his number.

Sam. Sarah. Congratulations.

Welcome to wedded bliss.

"Happy Wife...means happy life!"

How to enjoy duck.

On the rare occasion, I find myself with some time to just sit back, relax and reflect on the small pleasures of life. Now, I enjoy a good meal here and there, however, my personal favorite -- duck. There are many ways to enjoy duck; grilled, baked, roasted, fried, seared...for some foie gras is an especially tasty ducky treat. But my all time favorite -- Rubber Duckie. Here are some quick tips and tricks for you and your family, so you too can enjoy one of my personal favorites!

When choosing your duck, be sure to choose one without any blemish or visible damage. Check all sides very carefully as you see me doing here. It is important to hold the duck up to the light, this allows you to see into the interior and check for any possible contaminants. Rubber duckies, in particular, trap water so be sure to squeeze out the excess water after each bath.


Hold your duckie very gently, like so. How many you want to handle at one time is entirely up to you. I personally like to work with two at the same time, but again, this is personal preference -- so go with what makes you comfortable.

Now, munch.

Be sure to munch on every side. Don't be shy, really work those gums and get in there. You want to draw out all the flavors so munch like your life depends on it!

Remember to have some fun while you're at it. Like I said earlier, this is one of my favorite treats. Have fun, let your hair down and go to town!




Lastly -- share.

If you don't have a duckie, I'd like to offer you mine. If someone you know doesn't have a duckie, offer yours. Be a lover. Not a fighter. Spread the love and give the gift that keeps on giving.

Mi duckie es su duckie. Anytime.

Sometimes David says funny things...

On occasion, David will make some very amusing and entertaining comments. When they merit publication, I will post them here.

It just so happened that on the night the Giants finished off the the Dodgers with a game ending double-play, David followed suit offering up a verbal double-play of his own.

Amusing comment #1:
"I think I could do a better job than Bochy of managing the Giants".

Amusing comment #2:
"I'm kinda glad that I'm not a white person".

Now, Dear Reader, if you happen to be of Anglo descent, do not be offended because no one is more white than David. He is what one would refer to as a "Banana"--yellow on the outside, white on the inside. He enjoys a lot of the same stuff white people enjoy. Things such as baseball, steak, corn on the cob, board games, boxers, bottled water, U2, Eric Clapton, Starbucks, ESPN, Spring Training, Boston Market, movie theatres, SUVs, farmers markets, Perrier, Big Macs, memorabilia, hofbraus and younger women.

David also has an American middle name and that is very white.

So to clarify what David really meant, was that while he likes being white on the inside, he's glad he is not white on the outside and have to deal with the guilt and burden of Western Europe's legacy of oppression and imperialism. With the exception of the Irish. If you're Irish you don't have to feel bad about being white since the Irish were once under the heavy hand of Great Britain. Ask Sir William Wallace.

Sudden departures...

Yesterday evening, Noah and I went to say goodnight to Nay-Nay and Day-Day*. Business as usual, we were sure to tap on the globe containing our dear little aquatic friends and say our customary 'goodnights'. I dropped in some fish food and let Noah slap the bowl a few more times with his pudgy little hands.

Research has shown that fish gazing can have positive health effects. From reducing stress and lowering blood pressure levels, to having calming effects on rowdy and rambunctious children, the presence of little floating fishies bring much value to the common household. Owning an aquarium is a relatively effortless option in the world of pet ownership (if you choose hardy fish) with invaluable benefits. In a world where 'Stress is the number 1 killer', pet fish are a positive addition to any American household.

When David suggested we set up a little fishy microcosm for Noah's enjoyment and pleasure, it was a request that was met with little resistance. The round and plump variety were purchased at a local aquarium retailer and were of the more rare and expensive breed of goldfish demanding a premium of $2.95 per fish. When Dear Husband came home, he was pleased with the setup, however, did express dislike for 'fat' fish and said "he would have preferred the skinnier ones".

Based on our experience I can attest to the following:

1. Having an aquarium filled with live fish brings an element of tranquility and peace into the home. The silent hum of the filter offers a soothing drone. And watching the silent creatures float by can be a very tranquil and hypnotic experience.

2. Having an aquarium with dead fish, on the other hand, creates and very disturbing and unsettling sense of panic and disgust.

While Noah was happily swatting away at the fish, I noticed that some bubbles had accumulated in the back area of the tank. Upon taking a closer look, what appeared to be a cluster of filmy bubbles was the blank and lifeless stare of a grey and cloudy eyeball encircled by tendrils of waving fish flesh. Nay-Nay had been dead for quite some time.

The sudden and unexpected decay of our fan-tailed friend was--absolutely disgusting and makes my skin crawl. Noah, on the other hand, possessing the spirit of innocence responded with a more humanly sorrow and shared a few words in a brief interview conducted moments after receiving the tragic news:

David has agreed to dispose of the body...however, it is unclear whether this will be before or after April 15th.

"Nothing is certain but
Death and Taxes".

~ Benjamin Franklin

*When we asked Noah to name his fish he promptly replied, "NayNayNay. DayDayDay". Hence, NayNay and DayDay.

Charlie Bit My Finger!

You must must must watch this video.